Voice....."From a Notebook"

So. Here I am again, posting after a really dark spell. I’ve changed my mind about this entry, after sitting down to start writing it. I was going to write some clever and urbane thoughts about getting past a bout of depression and how my personality type is interacting with the uncertain period of life I’m swimming in and other stuff that makes me sound smart and analytical and together, like I’ve overcome a challenge and aren’t I grand? Listen to me, because I’ve got important things to say.
I changed my mind. I’m not going to do that.
Last evening I took myself to bed in the early evening, physically and mentally finished (immediately after I posted yesterday’s entry, in fact). I didn’t realize it consciously, but I needed silence and rest, and time to let my heart be what it was and feel what was in there to be felt. After a while, not sleeping but being quiet, I pulled out my scribbledy notebook, my journaling/note-taking/write-stuff-here-whenever notebook, and wrote some stuff. Several pages worth of what was in me to say. I opened it back up this morning, sitting with my computer and getting ready to write, and read what I had written about myself.
The following are direct excerpts from what I wrote in my scribbledy notebook, unedited except for clarity and to protect the innocent (marked with brackets). This isn’t me, clever. It’s me, real. I’m offering it in hopes that it will enable someone else to be themself, real. To maybe not feel as alone in the midst of confusion and depression and hurt. Because someone else has experienced those things too.
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“I’m tired. I don’t know why. I just am. I don’t want to have to justify myself in order to have permission to feel bad.
“I don’t wanna need permission to feel bad. To be depressed. To be sad. I would like for it to be just accepted for what it is and move on. I would like for that to be true of me, for me [toward myself] too. To be able to accept it as a state of being that just is and is temporary and to let it pass through me as long as it needs to and then go. And not to try to cling to it or to push it away and struggle.
“I would like for it not to be a cause for comment among my family and friends — to be able to just ask for help with what I need, and the why not to be dwelt on. And then to be able to give them my thanks and we all just move on.”
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“I don’t want to get stuck here, but I don’t want to have to feel like I have to fight either, like I’m even more wrong if I’m not fighting with my mood. Right now what I want is to rest. Just rest. For it to be legitimate to just rest. To have enough space and grace to rest in. For time to leave me alone for a while.”
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“Do your work, and then you get a rest. Don’t be sad. Just get on with it. Don’t be confused. You should know how to do this. You should see more of the world. You should notice more. You should understand more. You shouldn’t be afraid. At least, not a crippling fear. You should very calmly and rationally work through this and come to a logical conclusion that can be steadily worked at until successful. There might be some problems on the way, but you should be able to work them out if you don’t get upset and keep working at it.
“Yeah. Should. Whatever.”
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“I don’t know what I’m capable of. I don’t know what’s the right size of challenge to take on next.”
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“I [really badly] want for everything to be settled and decided, so I treat my day to day ideas as The Thing, and present it that way to other people. And then it feels catastrophic when the next piece of information wrecks it. I’m really not okay with living with uncertainty. And it takes so much energy every time I have to wrench my mind/heart onto something different. I feel like an idiot telling people ‘sorry, no, changed my mind. Pay no attention to my OMG CERTAINTY, I was wrong.’ And then do it again and again. I don’t want to do it anymore.”
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“I’m glad to have the chance to write this stuff down…. I feel like I’m going to get my energy back. Like this quieted space is a rest and not doom. I feel my spirits lift as the words flow over the page. My spirit is calmer and lighter. I will move on. For the first time in two days, I feel like I will move on from here.”

" My Resignation "

I'm certainly sick of trying to please people and i also retired myself from FB, so I hereby state that the only person I'm going to please is myself. Why didn't I think of this from the start? Fuck trying to win peoples hearts over with my amusing/sarcastic/clever/and even arrogant charm, you can come to me instead of me coming to you. If you want my attention so badly, then come here, stand in my way and demand it. These days I'm losing faith in everyone, no one particularly stands out anymore -- you're all the fucking same.
Dare to prove me wrong.

Friendship into Relationship....

A relationship can often grow from a friendship due to mixed feelings and the fact that buddy and a partner are kind of close in their  link to you anyway. However it’s not always a good move and could ruin a great friendship or at least make things awkward for a long time.

Friendship and intimate relationships are both equally important in life and sometimes you may want to hold onto that friendship and leave the intimacy out of it, especially if you are very close to each other. If you know anything and everything, all the gory details of each others lives and previous relationships, health issues, troubles and whats not then be careful. Anyway lets look at some tips before taking that leap.

Be sure you are not confusing feelings – Love comes in many forms and friendship is one of those. In hard times a friend may be there for you in every way possible and feelings can feel like they are really developing but you need to make sure this isn’t the troubles growing these thoughts. A friend is with you thick and thin and you should try and hold off until thin to really assess these feelings and make sure they are what you think they are.

Has this happened before? – It may not have been the first time you have hooked up or been close to hooking up. Did it cause problems and awkwardness before? What were the after feelings like and did you discuss the possibilities?

Have you both talked about it? – If you are very close then no feelings and thoughts should be off limits. Talk about it before jumping in. If the passion has already won out then talk it over and see if it was a mistake, just some fun or something that is possible to grow into a full on relationship.

What do your other friends say? – Have you discussed it with your other friends? Feelings and ideas feel different once shared so maybe cooping them up isn’t helping you make a good decision and your friends may help you clear things up. Maybe they were in a relationship before with another friend and act differently in such circumstances. They may be an awful partner but great friend.

Take things slow – You have likely been friends for a long time so what is the rush. Date slowly, ease into it and don’t go too far before finding out it will not work. The goal here is to preserve the friendship at all costs and put the intimate relationship second.

Try and date someone else! – I know this is odd advice but try and date someone else for a while and maybe tell them to do the same to see if you are still thinking of your friend all the time. It may not be fair on your date but you may meet your future partner and parent of your children or you may realise you are supposed to be with your friend!

+Friendship into Relationship, Your Advice?

At the end of the day your partner is often your best friend too, I know mine is and I am very lucky. I would like to think that if our relationship did ever end (which I hope it does not) that we could continue to be friends because she means a lot to me on all levels.

Have you ever dated a friend or come close? Are you in a long term relationship with someone who started as a friend and do you have any thoughts, tips or ideas to share?

Thanks for reading as always.

Switch to DunHill.....

New innovation of cigarette by Dunhill... Imagine, it’s just like an ice cream which you can mixed with other flavor... But now it’s a cigarette! As described on an store, “A Spicy, with a hint of sweetness, Dunhill Cigarettes do taste like real tobacco. Dunhill Cigarettes aroma is enticing and not spoiled by excessive use of various additives making Dunhill Cigarettes' taste a pure and recognizable one”  The at this instant they have this mixed blend of Spicy, sweetness and you can now switch it into a menthol flavor by smoking the same cigarette... Hi-Tech! Hehehehe...

Actually, the first thing that caught my attention of this cigarette is the package... As you can see packing and the design of each cigar... At the back you will see this instruction... Interesting!

So I bought it and tried, there is no difference about the taste from the Dunhill Blue which I usually smoked except when you switch it where suddenly you will taste the mentholated flavor...

This is what it looks like... A liquid menthol flavor packed on a small round blue green shell and when you pinch and pop it, the filter will absorbed the mentholated flavor which suddenly change the taste of the cigarette from a smooth taste into a cool menthol flavor... I remember my college days... A crazy joke that the head part of a matchstick inserted in the middle of a cigarette then ignite when heated... Hahahaha... I was also a victim of this silly joke...

Maybe there will be also different flavor coming out soon... Like strawberry, chocolate, mocha, etc.... Hehehehe... But always remember and as always warned us... Smoking is the main causes of fatal lung cancer, lung diseases, heart diseases and more... WTF! Stop Smoking! (I keep trying... But the sad thing is i cant quit...)

Fools No More!!!

There comes a time when you have to show people how important you are to them.  Many people will try to take advantage of you and you need to respond to those people by having some fun at their expense.  The one thing you can do to have some fun at their expense is to take everything away from them that you give to them.  If it is possible, you can simply remove yourself from them by not communicating with them and keeping your distance from them.  While they may attempt to act like your failure to communicate with them and hang around them has no impact, their internal truths unveil to them that your presence in their lives is truly vital.

Why should you have some fun at the expense of people who fail to appreciate you for what you truly mean in their lives?  Well, at some point, you have to stop being people’s play toy and begin to show folks that you have backbone.  If you do choose to do something for them while you are toying with them, require them to do things in exchange for what they want from you that you know they really do not want to do.  While they may not do what you ask them to do, you can simply enjoy the experience of them acting like they do not need you when they decline to do what you ask them to do, or you can simply sit back and gain great satisfaction in watching them do the things you know they do not want to do.  Is this really being cruel to these individuals?  Not at all!  They were not concerned with how they were treating you, so do not waste a whole lot of time thinking about what your fun at their expense is doing to them.  You have spent enough time worrying about them.  Take the time, energy, and resources you invest in them and devote them more to yourself and deserving people.

Now, if you have family and friends who have been underappreciating you, then you cannot simply let them continue to do this.  You have to make up in your mind that enough is enough!  Don’t let even the closest family member and friend take advantage of you any longer.  When close family and friends are trying to take advantage of you, you need to reconsider just how close you need to remain to them.  It’s okay to distance yourself completely from close family members and friends.  Let them feel what life is like without you.  They may just learn how to show you they appreciate you.

Before you begin to communicate and/or hang around these people again, make sure they have conspicuously evinced that they learned what it means to appreciate you.  For those people who want to keep acting like they don’t need you in their lives, then let them continue to suffer without you being in their lives.  Continue to enjoy watching them try to scramble to make things work for themselves when they know life is so much more difficult without what you have so generously provided and provide for them.

While it may be an ugly truth you don’t want to face, you must face it: refuse to continue to be people’s fool.  Turn the people who have tried to make you a fool into the true fools. Refuse to be used! Refuse to lose!  You cannot win in life when you keep letting everyone leech off of you and take advantage of you.  There’s a clear difference between being nice and being stupid.  Learn the difference and put your learning into practice.

Inevitable Thoughts,,,,,,

For the many years that I have lived listening to the good teachings, I wonder if it is even rightful to think what I'm thinking now. Am I angry? I don't know. I wonder at how people can take you so foolishly.

Don't we often forget to look at ourselves and judge others? Don't we often ask questions to others before asking them to ourselves? Don't we often forget that people are all same, basically?

I will not argue more. I know if there are any readers at all, reading this blog of mine, I will only confuse them. But at this moment, I have nowhere to shed this emotion but here. I so damn want to hit someone. Not because I am so angry. Because, I would really want to crack open someone's brain to really understand his thought.

Even when I lose everything, I know I will not lose my interest to write. Even if I don't write so well like others, I know I will write, even if it is nothing important.

For sure I will have to sleep tonight with wanting to hit someone so bad. But if there isn't someone to trigger emotions, when can I ever practice what I have learned?

Miraculous Life....

I had one of those rare but stunning moments the other day where I just felt flooded by the utter profundity of this world – at the miracle of actually being alive and part of this infinite web we have yet to fully understand.

Every day I lie in my bed in virtual stillness, yet I am also simultaneously spinning at dizzying speeds with billions of others on a beautiful, blue-green orb within an endless, incomprehensibly massive universe. And, even more miraculous, I am blessed with the human ability to be fully aware of that fact, and to ponder and be in awe at the meaning of it all.

Sometimes, I look out my window at the beauty of the small trees in a desert. Or at the birds fighting for food on the feeder we have provided them. Or the cats who visit me from time to time, scurrying about or just sitting there in some kind of quiet reflection I don't fully understand. And I think about how all these things are all distinct forms of being-ness. All these things are alive in various forms of consciousness that each differ from mine. And yet, in so many ways, we are the same. We are all alive and experiencing the world through our endlessly unique roles and abilities, and we all have the same basic, inherent needs and desires -- to be nourished, to thrive, and to simply be as we were created to be.

Other times I just lay with my eyes closed in meditation and try to feel this life inside me, as well as this sickness that has taken so much from me. I let myself go to the middle of it and feel the agony of it to the core. And I wonder at the fact that my internal body actually knows what’s wrong with me, yet “I,” my mind, does not. My body somehow knows what has gone astray, and it is desperately trying to fix it for me or to compensate for it in some way. It is failing, of course, but it is indeed trying. How does it know where to begin, or what to even attempt to do? How does it know and function beyond what I myself can comprehend? Every cell of my body seems to carry its own intelligence, independent of what I define as “me.” How extraordinary is that?

In my questioning, I start to marvel at how incredible the human body is. Do healthy people really consider the miracle of their wellness, when so many things could go wrong and yet rarely ever do? Do they understand it, glorify in it, breathe it in every second of every day? Do they rock with joy at their good fortune? Do they know the tremendous gift that they have been blessed with, and do they appreciate it? I mean, REALLY appreciate it, with all their being?

Sometimes I am just overwhelmed with how amazing life is. How every inch of this universe and every breath we all take is filled with endless miracles and wonder. If only we took note of it all more often. If only I had soaked more of it up when I still had the freedom to promenade...

"Letters To My Best Friends"

Dear Best Friends,

My love and respect for you all, has made all of you more than friends to me now…

We are not blood related but you are just as important as if you were…

I see the truth through the eyes of all my loved ones that look up at me in appreciation and loveliness…

I could never choose one “best” friend over another, because that would go with, what im against, and that is  favoritism…

I’m am writing this letter to you all out of the respect that i have built up from every joyous occasion that we have shared and every fucked moment that we survived through and learned from…

I thank you…

I wasn’t an accident when you came into my life, it was a blessing…

So if I tell you I love you, I REALLY meant it when I said it and I consider you to be one of my best friends…

Or like my family…

You have a piece of my heart that I give freely to you as tribute to your good hearts and great intentions…

and to the “One” that I love, I can’t wait to say that i love you…

So you can save me once and for all from a life of loneliness, and the emptiness you feel from a lack of affection and passion…

Truly Yours,

Discovered Elegance When "LIFE IS HARD"..

When I was a little Boy, I remember often being told by a variety of adults that "life is hard." This was most typically said when I complained about something I saw as terribly unreasonable or unfair, such as not being able to eat dessert without first finishing all the salads on my plate. While this certainly did seem like a rather cruel injustice, I always found this particular response to my protests a bit puzzling. Was life really all that hard? It certainly didn't seem that way to me. Granted, I may have only had four or five years of experience at the time, but, for the most part, life actually seemed pretty spectacular. The repeated sagas over salads and other such matters were indeed quite frustrating, but overall, I absolutely loved being a kid,no wonder i am still a kid, Life was new and exciting and full of wonder.

Yet, adults seemed to repeat this phrase rather consistently, as though it were some long-accepted truth that children just needed to learn as they grew older. And while I did come to understand it in terms of dealing with disappointments, struggle, death and loss, I still didn't quite get why even the smaller issues of life so often garnered this response. Why did adults seem to find life so troubling? Like most kids, becoming an adult was something I looked forward to with great eagerness. After all, it was they who got to make all the decisions and have the final say on every single topic of importance. What's not to like? :)

I understand it now, of course. Children can't possibly grasp the wide range and weight of responsibilities that accompany adulthood. Grown-ups yearn to be kids again, and kids yearn to be all grown up.

Still, I remember thinking that adults didn't always seem to fully appreciate all their much-coveted privileges. They even actually sometimes complained about them. They had too many bills and not enough time. They didn't appear to have quite the same energy and awe for life that children did. They didn't stop to take notice of the small things as much.

Struck by this realization one day as a young boy, I vowed to be different. I vowed to be fully grateful of all the special perks of adulthood when I grew older. I would always appreciate the little things and continue to look at life as being grand, not hard. I would make it a point to try not to complain about small, mundane inconveniences.

I confess I am not sure just how well I have done with this little goal of mine over the years. If I am honest with myself, I've probably been far less successful than I'd like to admit. For the most part, though, even when I lost sight of the good in any given circumstance, I was generally always able to return to a place of gratitude.

And then... I got sick. Really sick. My life was turned upside down until it essentially came to a standstill. Everything I had just begun to build for myself was slowly slipping away. From my social life, to the career I'd enjoyed and had just started to begin. The more I tried to push past it, the more I lost. As the years went on, simple, everyday privileges that I had not even recognized as privileges (the ability to shower, walk, talk, read, watch TV, get out of bed) suddenly started to disappear.

I actually remember once wondering if God had heard that little, silent declaration of mine all those many years ago and decided to respond with this, the ultimate in a series of complaint-inducing circumstances, as some sort of resounding challenge.

No doubt it has been incredibly trying at times, given the downward turns my life ultimately took, to keep that long-ago vow of mine. It was particularly difficult for me when I first became ill. I saw my life slipping between my fingers at what felt like whirlwind speed, and I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by it all, especially given how little others (or even I) understood what was happening to me.

Clearly, the challenges of this illness are beyond enormous. It has literally and ruthlessly invaded every aspect of my life. There are times, particularly during setbacks (which, given the nature of this illness, are quite frequent), when I want to throw all positivity right out the window. There is so much loss, grief and frustration to grapple with, not to mention the all-encompassing physical distress that can coincide with such a setback. It can be an arduous task to focus on gratitude when you feel so sick you can barely move.

I often dump my frustrations on my best friends during these times, because I know they understands them. Then I feel bad for doing what I had always vowed to avoid, and allowing myself to whine. My friends assures me I am not whining, but merely coping, and finding my way through what would otherwise be an intolerable situation. I'm not always so sure, though I do recognize the need to share such emotions from time to time and not keep them all bottled up.

Those of us stricken with this disease face every day the kind of loss, disappointments, deterioration, limitations, struggle and physical distress that most people don't experience until they are near the end of their life. Consequently, it is beyond reasonable, even perhaps essential to coping, to often feel complete and utter exasperation, as well as to at times experience deep sadness over what is lost and what we are missing out on, or on all that could have been. This, after all, is not your average life. This is not the life any of us, even in our worst nightmares, ever anticipated for ourselves.

It is, however, still a life. I once had a Doctor tell me that my life could not really even be called a life at all. To that, I must fervently disagree. Who is to judge the value of any given person's life? Undoubtedly, this is not the road I chose or would have ever wanted for myself, and there is nothing in this world I wouldn't do to change it. And it is true that my dreams, my ambitions, my education, my career and all my hopes and goals have, thus far, gone by the wayside. And that, in any circumstance, is indeed a tragedy. But my life, with all its struggles, loss, pain, limits and difficulties, is still a life. It still has value. It still has joy and love and dreams and meaning and hope.

Today, as I write this, I am so grateful for the grace of my young self who, in his innocent, little boy wisdom, somehow knew that I would later need the constant reminder. I would need the reminder to try to stay focused on the positive even in the midst of struggle, to acknowledge my blessings despite despair, and to take stock of the beauty that surrounds me and that always, under any circumstance, remains visible -- even if from afar. Life is simply far too sweet to spend it being bitter.

This has been an extremely rough journey for me. It has tried my patience and endurance in ways, when healthy, I never could have imagined. And yet, through it all, I need to remember that I've still had birds, butterflies, cactus blooms and greenness outside my window. I've still had the love of my friends and family. Despite my body's failings, it still has breath. It still holds my spirit, which, though at times shaken and tested, remains strong and able. And it is with that resilience of spirit that I will continue to hold on to the undying faith that someday, somehow, things will get better.

Lessons in life.......

Here are some of the most important things that I have learned in my time so far:

1-The Glass If Half-Empty Or Half Full

Whatever way you look at it is how it is. Every situation you are in can be seen from a negative or from a positive perspective. I don’t like negative people, so I always try to see everything from a half-full perspective. It makes life more enjoyable!

2-Complaining Gets You Nowhere

Life is unfair. Get used to it. Sometimes you are the underdog and you get handed the crappiest hand out of everyone. Complaining about how unfair or how difficult something is will not make your life better. It’s going to make you suffer and it’s going to cause others to get seriously annoyed with you.

Don’t complain. Take action and change what’s bothering you!

3-There Is No Free Lunch

Promises of free gifts, free education, free money…99.9% of the time they are a trick. There is always something attached to it, because hardly anyone does something for free.

Don’t count on a free lunch, work hard for your own success. Every now and then you may get lucky and someone will genuinely offer you a free lunch, in that case, enjoy it!

4-Easy Success Doesn’t Exist

Overnight success or instant millions only exist if you win the lottery or inherit a fortune.

Yeah you might get lucky sometimes, or have an amazing idea like the creators of Youtube did. Most of the time it takes a damn long time and a lot of hard work to achieve success. This is not a bad thing, and it’s not a problem at all. Just be prepared to work hard.

5-Girls Are Awesome

Haha, kind of random. But I love girls. They’re so…girly and feminine. They have this awesome energy that makes me feel so alive.

Yeah they can be dramatic, and illogical and confusing…but that’s the biggest reason why they are so awesome. Life would be rather dull without girls 

6-Failure Teaches You A Lot About Yourself And The World

Even though I’m just 24, I’ve succeeded and failed more times than most people have in a lifetime.

Initially I always thought that failure was devastating, that it meant I was not a worthy human being and that I should bury my head in shame. Luckily I learned that failure is an essential part of growth and success.

The more you fail, the more you learn and the closer you get to succeeding.

The most important thing to remember about failure can be summed up in this fantastic quote by Will Smith:
“Don’t let failure get to your heart and don’t let success get to your head”.

7-Not Everything Has A Happy Ending

Life is not the movies, and bad things can happen to you. You can get sick, you can have accidents, you can get beat up, you can lose money.

Once again, don’t let it get to you. Keep your heart stainless. If things get bad, move through it as best you can and stay optimistic.

8-There Are Some Really Bad,Evil And Nasty People In The World

Unfortunately not everyone is good. There are some truly nasty, destructive and hateful people out there. They will purposely go out of their way to make you miserable or to destroy what you are trying to build up.

Stay away from those kinds of people and if they don’t want to listen, kick their ass  (just kidding)

9-There Are A Lot Of Good People In The World

I would say that there are much more good than bad people. While most people may be inherently good and on a neutral level, there are also many people who go out of their way to make a difference.

These are the kinds of people that you want in your life. Make friends with them, respect them and try and be one of these good people yourself.

10-You Can Live With Less

You don’t need a mansion in every continent, or a Ferrari, or $10 million in the bank.

Although money is certainly nice to have and something to strive for, you can be perfectly happy with a small apartment, great friends, an awesome girl and enough money to pay the monthly bills.

11-Friends Are (Very) Important

In fact, I’d go as far as saying that having a couple of true friends in your life is absolutely essential to your happiness. There’s nothing like having a friend who you can count on, who will do anything for you and who’s always keen to hang out or start an adventure with you.

If you have these kind of friendships, don’t let them fade. Hold on to them because they are priceless!

12-There Is Always Someone Better

There is always someone who is better than you in everything. Even if you are the best in the world at what you do, it’s just a matter of time before someone comes along who will be better than you.

This is not a bad thing at all. Try your best and strive to keep getting better, but don’t get hung up and frustrated because there are others out there who are better than you. That’s going to make you miserable.

13-Even When You Think You Suck, You’re Awesome

There will be times in your life when you feel like a useless douchebag. You may think you suck at something, you may think you are a failure or you may feel like the biggest idiot in the world.

Truth is that everyone feels that way sometimes. No matter how much you think you suck, there are people out there who look up to you and who respect you. You still have awesome qualities…so don’t ever forget that. You’re already perfect!

14-Treat Others As You Want Others To Treat You

Do you believe in karma? Well, whether you do or don’t, I really believe that you will get treated in the same way as you treat others.

If you’re a good person and you’re nice to others, this will likely happen to you. If you’re an ass to people and treat them like crap, at some point it will feel like the whole world is turning against you because you will get back what you sent out.

You will reap what you sow. So sow positivity!

15-Always Expect The Unexpected

Hardly anything ever goes as planned. That’s life and that is what makes life awesome.

You never know at what point your perfect life is going to crumble or at which point your crappy life is going to turn awesome. Try to think about possible situations that could happen and be prepared how to act in case those situations occur.

16-Your Ego Is Your Downfall

Your ego is a nasty thing. It can cause arrogance, over-confidence and stupidity if you’re not wanting to admit you are wrong and still carry on going.

I have learned that it is best to remove my ego from all situations. If I’m doing something purely for validation or pride…I ask myself if there is any other reason why I’m doing it. If not…then it’s just my ego wanting attention and I usually don’t do it.

17-You Can Learn Something From Everyone

No matter how smart or how dumb someone may seem, I really think that everyone has some golden nugget of wisdom to share. Whether it is a way of eating, a handy little trick to get something done or an age-old wisdom…never think that you can’t learn something from someone.

18-You Can Make Something From Nothing

You can start off with absolutely nothing and build a massive empire. You can create products or items that millions of people across the world will use.

You can write articles that hundreds of thousands of people will read. If you can imagine it, you can create it.

19-It’s Nice To Help People

One of the most rewarding things to do in life is to help someone else improve their life in some way.

If you can share your knowledge or skills with someone. Even just help someone out with a place to stay or a loan for them to start a business, you can make a world of difference.

Sometimes a smile is all it takes for you to help someone have a better day.

20- Work Smarter, Not Harder

Ridiculous hard work usually makes you more successful than others.

What will really make you successful beyond your wildest dreams is working ridiculously hard following the smartest and most proven to work methods.

I can work really hard and dig a huge hole in my garden. Will that make me successful? No! (Unless I find gold). But if I work really hard on creating something that everyone needs, that is going to make me wildly successful.

Work smarter, not necessarily harder.

21-Never Stop Learning

Life is one constant school. From the moment you are born you start to learn, and I think the biggest mistake a person can make is to stop learning.

Always keep reading, books are awesome. Keep interacting with people, make connections, learn new skills. Keep trying new things, do something that you have never done before.

22- Fight Club Is The Most Awesome Movie Ever
Out of the hundreds of movies I have seen in my life, my best and favorite still reigns as Cinderella Man.

It has inspired dozens of hard workers. I’m pretty sure it has inspired thousands of men around the world to achieve their life aim. On top of it all, it’s a movie you can watch every year of your life without it ever getting boring!

23-Your Health Is Everything

All the success, fame, money and friends in the world mean nothing if your health is so bad that you can’t enjoy life.

Take good care of your body and your health by exercising, meditating and eating healthy!

24-Good Or Bad – It’s Awesome Being Alive

I don’t understand people who say “Life sucks” or “Life is unfair”.

Life is the most awesome thing that you have…ever. Yeah it may be difficult, it may seem impossible to get anywhere and you may have been dealt crappy cards.

But as long as you are alive you have the possibility to achieve anything you want. The mere fact of being able to see, smell, hear, touch and taste is incredible.

Enjoy the awesomeness of life, and appreciate every moment that you have!

Happiness ... on MESS

I recently wrote on my Personal Diary a poem about happiness.

I wrote that (loosely translated here),

Happiness is

When nothing is between you and what you like

When you have the resilience to stand up even when you fall

When someone is there, meticulously caring for and protecting you

When a vulnerable heart just gets stronger than ever

Happiness is also

When you have a confident to rely on when you are down

When you are deep in thoughts, someone is quietly accompanying you

When someone is there to guide you to find the meaning of life

When you don't have to hide - you are just you

There is no need to compare and compete with others to know if you are happy

For happiness is just when life is spent in fun and joy

This has got to be one of the best things I have ever written in my diary; there is this feeling that kicks in my heart whenever I read it. I love it so much I read it to myself so many times a day and I keep reminding myself about it. I've also put it on my Laptop screen.

Maybe it's just me feeling so attached to these words.

It is now my little reminder to myself that it is not that difficult after all to be happy; it all depends on what one's definition of happiness is. Perhaps, when we try to be less harsh on myself - something I've recently realised and a lesson I'm still in the process of learning - and learn to see simple joys in life, we can all be a little happier and feel much better.

I've been at an emotional tug-o-war with myself these few weeks which have been very evident based on the contrast so there was long gap in post. I sink in so quickly, but yet I stand up just as quickly. Even I myself don't know what to expect my emotions to turn out to in a random day, for it is now just so unpredictable. I can be full of joy and smiles, but yet another day I may just be crying alone. Many things in my life right now are taking a toll on me - this vulnerable person here - having to deal with it. All I can do right now seems to be to just keep 'psycho-ing' myself that I'll be fine and I'll do great, but the question mark still stands.

Perhaps only time will tell.