Lessons in life.......

Here are some of the most important things that I have learned in my time so far:

1-The Glass If Half-Empty Or Half Full

Whatever way you look at it is how it is. Every situation you are in can be seen from a negative or from a positive perspective. I don’t like negative people, so I always try to see everything from a half-full perspective. It makes life more enjoyable!

2-Complaining Gets You Nowhere

Life is unfair. Get used to it. Sometimes you are the underdog and you get handed the crappiest hand out of everyone. Complaining about how unfair or how difficult something is will not make your life better. It’s going to make you suffer and it’s going to cause others to get seriously annoyed with you.

Don’t complain. Take action and change what’s bothering you!

3-There Is No Free Lunch

Promises of free gifts, free education, free money…99.9% of the time they are a trick. There is always something attached to it, because hardly anyone does something for free.

Don’t count on a free lunch, work hard for your own success. Every now and then you may get lucky and someone will genuinely offer you a free lunch, in that case, enjoy it!

4-Easy Success Doesn’t Exist

Overnight success or instant millions only exist if you win the lottery or inherit a fortune.

Yeah you might get lucky sometimes, or have an amazing idea like the creators of Youtube did. Most of the time it takes a damn long time and a lot of hard work to achieve success. This is not a bad thing, and it’s not a problem at all. Just be prepared to work hard.

5-Girls Are Awesome

Haha, kind of random. But I love girls. They’re so…girly and feminine. They have this awesome energy that makes me feel so alive.

Yeah they can be dramatic, and illogical and confusing…but that’s the biggest reason why they are so awesome. Life would be rather dull without girls 

6-Failure Teaches You A Lot About Yourself And The World

Even though I’m just 24, I’ve succeeded and failed more times than most people have in a lifetime.

Initially I always thought that failure was devastating, that it meant I was not a worthy human being and that I should bury my head in shame. Luckily I learned that failure is an essential part of growth and success.

The more you fail, the more you learn and the closer you get to succeeding.

The most important thing to remember about failure can be summed up in this fantastic quote by Will Smith:
“Don’t let failure get to your heart and don’t let success get to your head”.

7-Not Everything Has A Happy Ending

Life is not the movies, and bad things can happen to you. You can get sick, you can have accidents, you can get beat up, you can lose money.

Once again, don’t let it get to you. Keep your heart stainless. If things get bad, move through it as best you can and stay optimistic.

8-There Are Some Really Bad,Evil And Nasty People In The World

Unfortunately not everyone is good. There are some truly nasty, destructive and hateful people out there. They will purposely go out of their way to make you miserable or to destroy what you are trying to build up.

Stay away from those kinds of people and if they don’t want to listen, kick their ass  (just kidding)

9-There Are A Lot Of Good People In The World

I would say that there are much more good than bad people. While most people may be inherently good and on a neutral level, there are also many people who go out of their way to make a difference.

These are the kinds of people that you want in your life. Make friends with them, respect them and try and be one of these good people yourself.

10-You Can Live With Less

You don’t need a mansion in every continent, or a Ferrari, or $10 million in the bank.

Although money is certainly nice to have and something to strive for, you can be perfectly happy with a small apartment, great friends, an awesome girl and enough money to pay the monthly bills.

11-Friends Are (Very) Important

In fact, I’d go as far as saying that having a couple of true friends in your life is absolutely essential to your happiness. There’s nothing like having a friend who you can count on, who will do anything for you and who’s always keen to hang out or start an adventure with you.

If you have these kind of friendships, don’t let them fade. Hold on to them because they are priceless!

12-There Is Always Someone Better

There is always someone who is better than you in everything. Even if you are the best in the world at what you do, it’s just a matter of time before someone comes along who will be better than you.

This is not a bad thing at all. Try your best and strive to keep getting better, but don’t get hung up and frustrated because there are others out there who are better than you. That’s going to make you miserable.

13-Even When You Think You Suck, You’re Awesome

There will be times in your life when you feel like a useless douchebag. You may think you suck at something, you may think you are a failure or you may feel like the biggest idiot in the world.

Truth is that everyone feels that way sometimes. No matter how much you think you suck, there are people out there who look up to you and who respect you. You still have awesome qualities…so don’t ever forget that. You’re already perfect!

14-Treat Others As You Want Others To Treat You

Do you believe in karma? Well, whether you do or don’t, I really believe that you will get treated in the same way as you treat others.

If you’re a good person and you’re nice to others, this will likely happen to you. If you’re an ass to people and treat them like crap, at some point it will feel like the whole world is turning against you because you will get back what you sent out.

You will reap what you sow. So sow positivity!

15-Always Expect The Unexpected

Hardly anything ever goes as planned. That’s life and that is what makes life awesome.

You never know at what point your perfect life is going to crumble or at which point your crappy life is going to turn awesome. Try to think about possible situations that could happen and be prepared how to act in case those situations occur.

16-Your Ego Is Your Downfall

Your ego is a nasty thing. It can cause arrogance, over-confidence and stupidity if you’re not wanting to admit you are wrong and still carry on going.

I have learned that it is best to remove my ego from all situations. If I’m doing something purely for validation or pride…I ask myself if there is any other reason why I’m doing it. If not…then it’s just my ego wanting attention and I usually don’t do it.

17-You Can Learn Something From Everyone

No matter how smart or how dumb someone may seem, I really think that everyone has some golden nugget of wisdom to share. Whether it is a way of eating, a handy little trick to get something done or an age-old wisdom…never think that you can’t learn something from someone.

18-You Can Make Something From Nothing

You can start off with absolutely nothing and build a massive empire. You can create products or items that millions of people across the world will use.

You can write articles that hundreds of thousands of people will read. If you can imagine it, you can create it.

19-It’s Nice To Help People

One of the most rewarding things to do in life is to help someone else improve their life in some way.

If you can share your knowledge or skills with someone. Even just help someone out with a place to stay or a loan for them to start a business, you can make a world of difference.

Sometimes a smile is all it takes for you to help someone have a better day.

20- Work Smarter, Not Harder

Ridiculous hard work usually makes you more successful than others.

What will really make you successful beyond your wildest dreams is working ridiculously hard following the smartest and most proven to work methods.

I can work really hard and dig a huge hole in my garden. Will that make me successful? No! (Unless I find gold). But if I work really hard on creating something that everyone needs, that is going to make me wildly successful.

Work smarter, not necessarily harder.

21-Never Stop Learning

Life is one constant school. From the moment you are born you start to learn, and I think the biggest mistake a person can make is to stop learning.

Always keep reading, books are awesome. Keep interacting with people, make connections, learn new skills. Keep trying new things, do something that you have never done before.

22- Fight Club Is The Most Awesome Movie Ever
Out of the hundreds of movies I have seen in my life, my best and favorite still reigns as Cinderella Man.

It has inspired dozens of hard workers. I’m pretty sure it has inspired thousands of men around the world to achieve their life aim. On top of it all, it’s a movie you can watch every year of your life without it ever getting boring!

23-Your Health Is Everything

All the success, fame, money and friends in the world mean nothing if your health is so bad that you can’t enjoy life.

Take good care of your body and your health by exercising, meditating and eating healthy!

24-Good Or Bad – It’s Awesome Being Alive

I don’t understand people who say “Life sucks” or “Life is unfair”.

Life is the most awesome thing that you have…ever. Yeah it may be difficult, it may seem impossible to get anywhere and you may have been dealt crappy cards.

But as long as you are alive you have the possibility to achieve anything you want. The mere fact of being able to see, smell, hear, touch and taste is incredible.

Enjoy the awesomeness of life, and appreciate every moment that you have!

Happiness ... on MESS

I recently wrote on my Personal Diary a poem about happiness.

I wrote that (loosely translated here),

Happiness is

When nothing is between you and what you like

When you have the resilience to stand up even when you fall

When someone is there, meticulously caring for and protecting you

When a vulnerable heart just gets stronger than ever

Happiness is also

When you have a confident to rely on when you are down

When you are deep in thoughts, someone is quietly accompanying you

When someone is there to guide you to find the meaning of life

When you don't have to hide - you are just you

There is no need to compare and compete with others to know if you are happy

For happiness is just when life is spent in fun and joy

This has got to be one of the best things I have ever written in my diary; there is this feeling that kicks in my heart whenever I read it. I love it so much I read it to myself so many times a day and I keep reminding myself about it. I've also put it on my Laptop screen.

Maybe it's just me feeling so attached to these words.

It is now my little reminder to myself that it is not that difficult after all to be happy; it all depends on what one's definition of happiness is. Perhaps, when we try to be less harsh on myself - something I've recently realised and a lesson I'm still in the process of learning - and learn to see simple joys in life, we can all be a little happier and feel much better.

I've been at an emotional tug-o-war with myself these few weeks which have been very evident based on the contrast so there was long gap in post. I sink in so quickly, but yet I stand up just as quickly. Even I myself don't know what to expect my emotions to turn out to in a random day, for it is now just so unpredictable. I can be full of joy and smiles, but yet another day I may just be crying alone. Many things in my life right now are taking a toll on me - this vulnerable person here - having to deal with it. All I can do right now seems to be to just keep 'psycho-ing' myself that I'll be fine and I'll do great, but the question mark still stands.

Perhaps only time will tell.

Scariest Sex.....

Generally, we humans like to think of sex as something exciting and filled with pleasures which take years to fully understand and appreciate. But if we were certain insects or a very particular species of nautili (A cephalopod mollusk of the genus Nautilus, pompilius, found in the Indian and Pacific oceans and having a spiral, pearly-lined shell with a series of air-filled chambers), sex would be just plain terrifying for a very long list of reasons ranging from disembowelment to genitelia resembling torture weapons you’d find in a Medieval knight’s armory. And for many of the insect world’s males, sex is the last thing they ever do. Literally.

Imagine yourself as a web weaving spider. Compared to the females of your species, you are a tiny little creature and it’s your task to somehow try and mate with her. Now, provided that you somehow managed to tap out the right tune on her web without being run through by her huge poisonous fangs, you need to attach yourself to her underbelly and deposit your gametes. But as you do, she’s chewing on you. That’s right. As a spider male, you’re your mate’s dinner and as she’s chomping on your lower half, you have to make sure you can finish the mating before she finally digests something vital.

"...the male dies soon after (mating). His purpose in life is over, so he simply expires."

Another mate who might just eat you during the act is the Mantis female. While there are a few controversies about how common sexual cannibalism really is in mantises, there are cases in which a hungry female will bite off the head of her mate who continues to deposit his gametes at an even faster rate as he dies. So if you’re a male mantis and your potential mate is hungry, you have to wrestle with her to make sure she doesn’t reach back and chew on your face with a pair of powerful mandibles. Can you say ouch?

Speaking of ouch, how about a little disembowelment with your climax? During mating, female bees which will eventually become queens of their own hives lock onto the genitals of the male drones. When the mating is done and they separate, the male endophallus is left in the female. The end result? The closest an insect can come to disembowelment. It’s known as popping the drone because of the popping sound as the drones’ reproductive organs tear off. If any males do somehow survive the mating or don’t have a chance to mate after the females extracted all the sperm they’ll ever need from them, they’re chased out and soon die as their only purpose in life is to mate with a female and shed their mortal coil while she builds a new colony.

But it’s not all bad for the males. Sometimes, male insects get to turn the tables on the females with some frightening biological adaptations of their own. Direct your attention to the detailed snapshot of what the penis of a male weevil looks like. This horrifying instrument which seems to be better suited as a knight’s flail than a reproductive organ, brutally maims whatever mates the weevil has. A theory as to why something like this evolves states that the weevils make sure that the fertilized female won’t mate with anyone else while she heals her wounds, ensuring his unique genetic profile is the only one that will be transferred to the offspring. This is backed up by the fact that the most successful males have the most menacing and spikiest genitals. You can insert your own dirty joke here because due to this blog’s readership, I’d really rather not.

Finally, here’s a trick I’m glad never evolved in humans. Male paper nautili reproduce by taking their reproductive organ filled with sperm packets and actually shooting it into a female which is enormous by comparison to them. Were humans to adopt such a trait, we could never have bars, nightclubs or college parties. Someone with a bad aim would be a menace to everyone in range and half our time would be spent trying to dodge the crossfire. Oh and one other thing. Humans borrowing the biology of the paper nautilus would only have one shot. Sad, isn’t it?

Thanks to God for being a human.....our partner species have guts to protect us.

Eureka!!!! Eureka!!!

I found out all my e-books were deleted and I don’t have a backup and I’m pissed! I haven’t read most of them. I don’t know when it was deleted because it wasn’t even in the recycle bin anymore. Worst… I can’t download it again because the site where I download it from is not anymore accessible. I was so glad when I get to that site. All the e-books are new and most of the authors are my favorite and the catch, e-books are free to download. They even recommend authors and e-books that they thought belongs to a must read sections.

I found out that finding the middle ground has its limitation too. I had enough. I always thought that I’m not a good friend. I couldn’t let myself talked to one of my so-called friend because I’m tired of compromising. I’m asking a lot if I’m the kind of friend I want as a friend. This time I already have an answer. Yes, I am the kind of friend I want as a friend. I don’t ever have to compromise because I know we’ll both be standing in the common ground… we both understand that living with friend means give and take… you have to work your butt out just to make it work… and it takes two to tango… and never be selfish… always think of your friend before you think of yourself and it should always work both ways. But since we have differences, it’s so true that it’s better to visit a friend than to live with them. 

I found out that giving a little something to your family is truly a big deal. They are the easiest people to please. We always thought that they are expecting big from us but in reality it’s the thought that counts. It doesn’t matter if you give them a little less as long as you don’t give them something that can break their heart it could mean a lot. You’ll be surprise to know when it bounces back it bestows you contentment… happiness… pleasure… feelings that you’ve been trying to figure out all your life and for just one time you give something to your family… you’re on the top of the world. Most people think that they have great responsibility towards their family and yes we all do, but I think when you look at them as a responsibility later on you’ll see them as a burden. But when you do things for them out of love, you’ll never get tired of it. You give them happiness trice as much as you give it to yourself. 

I found out that I can be more sympathetic. I can let awful things slipped out. I can mend and bend whichever situation I’m in. It felt good to sometimes left things the way they were and not to push it. Besides, you’ll never know where it’s heading. Maybe you’re lucky it went well and maybe, it could be better luck next time. 

I found out that I should be gratified. There’s a lot to be thankful for.

life on a Graph sheet

I’ve spent many a good hour trying to figure out what graph best shows my life. Of course, an actual graph would be far too erratic to give an equation to, but if we’re talking a line of best fit?

I’ve pondered the trigonometric graphs, Sine and Cosine, but find them too rigid in their structure. Too perfectly formed. Each high point is too alike, and each low likewise. It is not the graph of my life.

I’ve pondered also quadratic functions.... but they lack any sense of reality, culminating in either one spectacular high, or rather devastating low. If life went that way, at least we’d know we only have to go up once we’ve hit the bottom. But it’s not the graph of my life.

I moved up to cubics, and higher powered polynomials, but none of them fit either. They always tend to infinity, or negative infinity. It’s not the graph of my life.

More recently I’ve considered reciprocal functions, finding y = 1/x to be roughly accurate. It stems off to an incredible high; mindblowingly amazing, before jumping in at the lowest point and devastating everything that is built. It then gradually, and increasingly moves back up to a stable point. A safe point in life. I could cope with that.

Of course, if that were the graph of my life, I’d be disappointed that I had no more highs to look forward to, but I could cope.

However, I think (as was inevitable really) it is impossible to summarize human life with a graph. We could model it, sure. We could try to make things fit. But they never would; there are simply too many variables in life.

And whatever we try to do, however much we try to mould ourselves to the thing we most want, life moves forward.

Time moves forward at a constant rate, and with it we must remain. Our life is nothing if not for the passing of time. So we must move forward.

No amount of wishing can change what has passed, no amount of dreaming can hold time still.

We have no control over time, it merely controls us.

So our graph will move forward.

Forward.

The rest s up to us

“Life as numerical quantities focus on expected values, graphical summaries on unexpected values.”i

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