I think if i had to pinpoint one flaw that most keeps me from doing and being all i can, it would have to be my super-human ability to doubt myself.
There aren't many areas of life where doubt and second guessing doesn't factor in my life {is what i'm doing or writing really relevant, intelligent, informed, or am i simply spewing the ridiculous randomness in my head?}. the job {Job i am doing isn't as good as the last one. what if i never have a creative thought ever again? what if they find out i don't have a clue what i'm doing?}. even conversations that i have {did i really say that? he's going to think i am an idiot. why did i have to open my mouth at all?}.
All these things and more are subject to the harsh and glaring critic living inside my head,whose only job, it seems, is to constantly tell me that what i'm doing isn't good enough, creative enough, intelligent enough... or simply enough.
it's far too easy to let the questioning, negative voices actually run the show that is my life. and besides, i don't even like living like this! if i was wearing a underwear that was so painful as to ruin my day, i wouldn't hesitate to change them. so why have i allowed doubt to inconvenience, and at times, even sabotage me?
i want to be done with the incessant self-doubting. i want to stop second guessing myself, and begin trusting in the gifts that God has given me. and if i make a mistake, then i pick up and go on from there.
there are enough things in life that serve to derail you from your purpose... there's no sense in adding to it.....
