there are times in my life when i have so much discipline that i
amaze myself... unfortunately these periods of amazement are usually
swiftly followed by times when i am as undisciplined as a bowl of jello.
so much for consistency.
i own more than a few books on the topic of spiritual disciplines. were you to look at my bookshelf, and see the highlighted portions of these many books, you would probably assume that i was one of the most spiritually disciplined people you could ever hope to meet.
unfortunately, the opposite is true. i am drawn to books on the disciplines because i am so hopelessly undisciplined most of the time.
i am in a rut of indiscipline right now.
things were going good until about a week ago, when, for a stupid, emotional reason, i allowed myself to be derailed, and am now fighting to pick it all up again. being the king of self-induced and irrational guilt, i constantly beat myself up about it... which, strangely enough, isn't very inspiring. you'd think i'd have figured that out by now.
the bottom line is that i want to be better. i want to love God better today than i did yesterday. i want to be a better designer and writer. a better friend, brother, son. and the only way that that happens, is if RAHMAT is a more disciplined chap.
not that there is magic in the disciplines. there isn't. but they help to put me in a place where i can actually hear God speak in the midst of all the noise i cram into my life. and because of that, they are fully necessary.
so much for consistency.
i own more than a few books on the topic of spiritual disciplines. were you to look at my bookshelf, and see the highlighted portions of these many books, you would probably assume that i was one of the most spiritually disciplined people you could ever hope to meet.
unfortunately, the opposite is true. i am drawn to books on the disciplines because i am so hopelessly undisciplined most of the time.
i am in a rut of indiscipline right now.
things were going good until about a week ago, when, for a stupid, emotional reason, i allowed myself to be derailed, and am now fighting to pick it all up again. being the king of self-induced and irrational guilt, i constantly beat myself up about it... which, strangely enough, isn't very inspiring. you'd think i'd have figured that out by now.
the bottom line is that i want to be better. i want to love God better today than i did yesterday. i want to be a better designer and writer. a better friend, brother, son. and the only way that that happens, is if RAHMAT is a more disciplined chap.
not that there is magic in the disciplines. there isn't. but they help to put me in a place where i can actually hear God speak in the midst of all the noise i cram into my life. and because of that, they are fully necessary.
No comments:
Post a Comment