So far this week has felt like that.
Wanted to go for movie; but no Friends.
Wanted to talk; but all are Busy.
Wanted to go for movie; but no Friends.
Wanted to talk; but all are Busy.
Wanted to go for jog; but unable to woke up.
Went to collect something; it wasn’t there.
Went to see someone; they weren’t in.
A summarily short list but it has roll-over consequences. It builds up one after the other. Especially if you haven’t caught a break in between them it feels as if things are ganging up on you.
* * *
On a slightly different tone, I was listening to Deff leppard's and while grooving to the rock riff and the lyrical lyrics I realised what kind of songs I like – I like those that make analogies. Similes, metaphors, and all those words you learn in English lit. Lyrics are important of course and everyone is attracted to music that you can relate to. And if you know me (or read my posts) you will know that the weird way I express myself usually involves a lot of analogies or some nonsense like that. It works for me. I don’t know why.
I suppose I like to imagine things and when it comes to describing something I can’t describe, associating it to something I can visualise helps.
I only blog when I’m feeling- well, basically when I’m feeling down, or angry, or sad. Usually not when I’m happy. So those massive gaps in time between posts don’t mean that the previous post represents my feelings/thought/emotions until the next post; it means that nothing really twisted my gut till then.
So by the process of analysis, my gut is twisted as we speak.
I feel so F-ed up right now. There is one thing that’s niggling in the back of my mind which although is a small niggle, is a niggle nonetheless. Then there are the other things. The oppressive cloud of gloom and depressives that is looming over me. The things mention in the first bit of this post. The fact that I feel lonely – and that’s no one’s fault.
I feel I aught to qualify that last sentence. It’s nothing that anyone else can do about it. There are certain responsibilities and decisions that I have to take on my own shoulders. There are things that only I can do for whatever purpose. Its not that I don’t have friends or rather, that there aren’t friends around, but it’s more like being stuck on a branch that’s so high up that no one can get you down till the fire truck gets there. It’s rather a helpless situation.
There are so many things that I have to do – tomorrow, this week, this year my 12 goals. Its pretty much weighing down on my shoulders (no wonder my shoulder blade have been stiff and sore since Friday).
It’s only something time will heal. But until then, I feel like crap. I want to punch something.
Went to collect something; it wasn’t there.
Went to see someone; they weren’t in.
A summarily short list but it has roll-over consequences. It builds up one after the other. Especially if you haven’t caught a break in between them it feels as if things are ganging up on you.
* * *
On a slightly different tone, I was listening to Deff leppard's and while grooving to the rock riff and the lyrical lyrics I realised what kind of songs I like – I like those that make analogies. Similes, metaphors, and all those words you learn in English lit. Lyrics are important of course and everyone is attracted to music that you can relate to. And if you know me (or read my posts) you will know that the weird way I express myself usually involves a lot of analogies or some nonsense like that. It works for me. I don’t know why.
I suppose I like to imagine things and when it comes to describing something I can’t describe, associating it to something I can visualise helps.
I only blog when I’m feeling- well, basically when I’m feeling down, or angry, or sad. Usually not when I’m happy. So those massive gaps in time between posts don’t mean that the previous post represents my feelings/thought/emotions until the next post; it means that nothing really twisted my gut till then.
So by the process of analysis, my gut is twisted as we speak.
I feel so F-ed up right now. There is one thing that’s niggling in the back of my mind which although is a small niggle, is a niggle nonetheless. Then there are the other things. The oppressive cloud of gloom and depressives that is looming over me. The things mention in the first bit of this post. The fact that I feel lonely – and that’s no one’s fault.
I feel I aught to qualify that last sentence. It’s nothing that anyone else can do about it. There are certain responsibilities and decisions that I have to take on my own shoulders. There are things that only I can do for whatever purpose. Its not that I don’t have friends or rather, that there aren’t friends around, but it’s more like being stuck on a branch that’s so high up that no one can get you down till the fire truck gets there. It’s rather a helpless situation.
There are so many things that I have to do – tomorrow, this week, this year my 12 goals. Its pretty much weighing down on my shoulders (no wonder my shoulder blade have been stiff and sore since Friday).
It’s only something time will heal. But until then, I feel like crap. I want to punch something.
It’s not that you write when you feel depressed, but when you feel like sharing it with the one who really understands. And it’s true.. We all need friends, family to celebrate our happiness with. . We can always demand for having share in our happiness, but we never demand the same for our sorrows, in our bad times. But it’s a true friend who realizes the need and come forward to meet the demand of our heart. It is so true that our heart feels sorry on not fulfilling any wish or demand and at tat time we regret our existence, we regret everything. And we simply ignore the things that are still there with us even in our bad times, which may not take the place of a friend but they always try to be there with u, and we simply ignore them. We cannot force anyone for anything, and it is just not advisable to demand either, but we simply can give whatever we have to the friend in his bad time. Not everybody thinks this way, not everybody can we call as our friend. It is so true, that whatever happens always happen for a good. Either you have to stay still and wait for your turn, or just look for the true people around u and be happy even in bad times. Everything that exists, always tend to changes. You can never avoid a change. Life is like November rains. We simply have ourselves to get adjust with it to keep ourselves and our loved ones happy. That’s life.
ReplyDeleteDear Rahmat
ReplyDeletekya likhon......
Saal hone ko aaya.......!
Ek irada,zara sa honsla,Thodi ummid, or na jane kya kya.............samete huwe Dilli ko alvida (Ya yun ke lo Mere dant dapat se Azadi) or Pune ka rukh......Kisliye .....or ab kis mukam pe ho.........? U knw better dan me.......
...... TUMHARE IRADE US RAIT KE MANIND HAIN JO SAMANDER KI EH LEHAR KE SAATH BEH JATI HAI......!!!?
It’s only something time will heal. But until then, I feel like crap. I want to punch something.(AISA HI KOOCH LIKHA HAI AAPNE HUZUR..)
I hope ke wo SOMETHING jald hi aayega.....auron ke liye na sahi tumhare apne liye.....
All D best...........
Your's Always
Shafi