There's Always Something..

There's Always Something.....

Why is it that even though we have great, exciting things happening in our lives that are cause enough to make us happy, there's always that one aspect we haven't quite achieved, no matter how small, that makes us question ourselves?

For instance, I just had the most mature and cathartic discussion with my parents, involving my coming out of the closet. It felt really good that when I told them, they accepted me, wholly, for the first time, for who I really am. As great a cause for celebration as this should be, I have to say that it's tainted, almost overshadowed, by that feeling in the back of my head, that knowing that someone out there (two, in fact) harbor adverse feelings toward me. One of them is a stranger with no sense of humor and the other, a close friend, who chooses to hold on to a petty grudge.


As of this moment, I have mixed feelings about myself. On the one hand, I feel validated and loved by my parents who chose me over their beliefs and principles. On the other, I feel lacking and inadequate because of the strong words of a complete stranger and because of the absence of words from a friend.


I read a quote once that said something like, "Life is a work-in-progress. The moment we stop struggling is the moment we stop having a reason to keep going." If I chose to live by this quote, it would be natural then to have these small battles going on inside of me constantly. But is it wrong for me to aspire to have everything working for me? To have everything that I ever wanted? Is true happiness that hard to obtain? Or is it even attainable at all?