Scariest Sex.....

Generally, we humans like to think of sex as something exciting and filled with pleasures which take years to fully understand and appreciate. But if we were certain insects or a very particular species of nautili (A cephalopod mollusk of the genus Nautilus, pompilius, found in the Indian and Pacific oceans and having a spiral, pearly-lined shell with a series of air-filled chambers), sex would be just plain terrifying for a very long list of reasons ranging from disembowelment to genitelia resembling torture weapons you’d find in a Medieval knight’s armory. And for many of the insect world’s males, sex is the last thing they ever do. Literally.

Imagine yourself as a web weaving spider. Compared to the females of your species, you are a tiny little creature and it’s your task to somehow try and mate with her. Now, provided that you somehow managed to tap out the right tune on her web without being run through by her huge poisonous fangs, you need to attach yourself to her underbelly and deposit your gametes. But as you do, she’s chewing on you. That’s right. As a spider male, you’re your mate’s dinner and as she’s chomping on your lower half, you have to make sure you can finish the mating before she finally digests something vital.

"...the male dies soon after (mating). His purpose in life is over, so he simply expires."

Another mate who might just eat you during the act is the Mantis female. While there are a few controversies about how common sexual cannibalism really is in mantises, there are cases in which a hungry female will bite off the head of her mate who continues to deposit his gametes at an even faster rate as he dies. So if you’re a male mantis and your potential mate is hungry, you have to wrestle with her to make sure she doesn’t reach back and chew on your face with a pair of powerful mandibles. Can you say ouch?

Speaking of ouch, how about a little disembowelment with your climax? During mating, female bees which will eventually become queens of their own hives lock onto the genitals of the male drones. When the mating is done and they separate, the male endophallus is left in the female. The end result? The closest an insect can come to disembowelment. It’s known as popping the drone because of the popping sound as the drones’ reproductive organs tear off. If any males do somehow survive the mating or don’t have a chance to mate after the females extracted all the sperm they’ll ever need from them, they’re chased out and soon die as their only purpose in life is to mate with a female and shed their mortal coil while she builds a new colony.

But it’s not all bad for the males. Sometimes, male insects get to turn the tables on the females with some frightening biological adaptations of their own. Direct your attention to the detailed snapshot of what the penis of a male weevil looks like. This horrifying instrument which seems to be better suited as a knight’s flail than a reproductive organ, brutally maims whatever mates the weevil has. A theory as to why something like this evolves states that the weevils make sure that the fertilized female won’t mate with anyone else while she heals her wounds, ensuring his unique genetic profile is the only one that will be transferred to the offspring. This is backed up by the fact that the most successful males have the most menacing and spikiest genitals. You can insert your own dirty joke here because due to this blog’s readership, I’d really rather not.

Finally, here’s a trick I’m glad never evolved in humans. Male paper nautili reproduce by taking their reproductive organ filled with sperm packets and actually shooting it into a female which is enormous by comparison to them. Were humans to adopt such a trait, we could never have bars, nightclubs or college parties. Someone with a bad aim would be a menace to everyone in range and half our time would be spent trying to dodge the crossfire. Oh and one other thing. Humans borrowing the biology of the paper nautilus would only have one shot. Sad, isn’t it?

Thanks to God for being a human.....our partner species have guts to protect us.

Eureka!!!! Eureka!!!

I found out all my e-books were deleted and I don’t have a backup and I’m pissed! I haven’t read most of them. I don’t know when it was deleted because it wasn’t even in the recycle bin anymore. Worst… I can’t download it again because the site where I download it from is not anymore accessible. I was so glad when I get to that site. All the e-books are new and most of the authors are my favorite and the catch, e-books are free to download. They even recommend authors and e-books that they thought belongs to a must read sections.

I found out that finding the middle ground has its limitation too. I had enough. I always thought that I’m not a good friend. I couldn’t let myself talked to one of my so-called friend because I’m tired of compromising. I’m asking a lot if I’m the kind of friend I want as a friend. This time I already have an answer. Yes, I am the kind of friend I want as a friend. I don’t ever have to compromise because I know we’ll both be standing in the common ground… we both understand that living with friend means give and take… you have to work your butt out just to make it work… and it takes two to tango… and never be selfish… always think of your friend before you think of yourself and it should always work both ways. But since we have differences, it’s so true that it’s better to visit a friend than to live with them. 

I found out that giving a little something to your family is truly a big deal. They are the easiest people to please. We always thought that they are expecting big from us but in reality it’s the thought that counts. It doesn’t matter if you give them a little less as long as you don’t give them something that can break their heart it could mean a lot. You’ll be surprise to know when it bounces back it bestows you contentment… happiness… pleasure… feelings that you’ve been trying to figure out all your life and for just one time you give something to your family… you’re on the top of the world. Most people think that they have great responsibility towards their family and yes we all do, but I think when you look at them as a responsibility later on you’ll see them as a burden. But when you do things for them out of love, you’ll never get tired of it. You give them happiness trice as much as you give it to yourself. 

I found out that I can be more sympathetic. I can let awful things slipped out. I can mend and bend whichever situation I’m in. It felt good to sometimes left things the way they were and not to push it. Besides, you’ll never know where it’s heading. Maybe you’re lucky it went well and maybe, it could be better luck next time. 

I found out that I should be gratified. There’s a lot to be thankful for.

life on a Graph sheet

I’ve spent many a good hour trying to figure out what graph best shows my life. Of course, an actual graph would be far too erratic to give an equation to, but if we’re talking a line of best fit?

I’ve pondered the trigonometric graphs, Sine and Cosine, but find them too rigid in their structure. Too perfectly formed. Each high point is too alike, and each low likewise. It is not the graph of my life.

I’ve pondered also quadratic functions.... but they lack any sense of reality, culminating in either one spectacular high, or rather devastating low. If life went that way, at least we’d know we only have to go up once we’ve hit the bottom. But it’s not the graph of my life.

I moved up to cubics, and higher powered polynomials, but none of them fit either. They always tend to infinity, or negative infinity. It’s not the graph of my life.

More recently I’ve considered reciprocal functions, finding y = 1/x to be roughly accurate. It stems off to an incredible high; mindblowingly amazing, before jumping in at the lowest point and devastating everything that is built. It then gradually, and increasingly moves back up to a stable point. A safe point in life. I could cope with that.

Of course, if that were the graph of my life, I’d be disappointed that I had no more highs to look forward to, but I could cope.

However, I think (as was inevitable really) it is impossible to summarize human life with a graph. We could model it, sure. We could try to make things fit. But they never would; there are simply too many variables in life.

And whatever we try to do, however much we try to mould ourselves to the thing we most want, life moves forward.

Time moves forward at a constant rate, and with it we must remain. Our life is nothing if not for the passing of time. So we must move forward.

No amount of wishing can change what has passed, no amount of dreaming can hold time still.

We have no control over time, it merely controls us.

So our graph will move forward.

Forward.

The rest s up to us

“Life as numerical quantities focus on expected values, graphical summaries on unexpected values.”i

Listen it once: You will love it, zia mohiuddin reads an extremely funny...

Photography

An Open Letter!!!

To a Dear Friend who made life easier for me... :)

================

Dear Sibtey bhai,

Maybe you're wondering why I'm writing to you when I can really say this to you through text message or whatever. Well, I just want to put into words what I want to say and the things that I feel right now.

I miss you. Yes, terribly. You are not just an ordinary friend, you are a brother to me. You are one of the most wonderful person I have ever met. Nobody makes me feel special the way you do. Nobody makes me feel that I'm appreciated and well-loved the way you do. You are such a very good friend, you are incomparable, very dear to me. I miss your company. I miss our bonding. I miss your straightforward thoughts. I miss your sarcasm. I miss how we talk about our lives.I miss 8 ZAS.I miss the day when we went for movie with empty pocket having illusive faith on each.I miss everything about you.

I can still remember how i skip classes and sleep at your place coz i was too (lazy) sleepy to attend the class. I remember how we talk about each others "crushes", our long talks till we drop snoring in your bed. We eat together, we surfed the net together(DBDB),we watched many films together. I sleep at your place you sleep at my place. We make assignments and projects together on the 11thhour. We stroll for "cute-hunt" together.I miss our night outs and I end up smoking and throwing up all over the place, which was disgusting for you.I remember our day hang-outs to Chilly Delhi.if I may add, These are just some of those very memorable moments I had with you. For 3 years that we've been together, I never got tired of your company. I just wish I could spend more time with you here or i can put on the rewind button and we back to the world of innoscence, stupidity and idiotic.

You are 'irreplaceable', man. Yes, you are simply unique. You know everything about me. I share my secrets with you. I guess you will always be my best dear friend.

I miss you and I hate the thought that I will never have you by my side when everything's going wrong.

Always remember that I am always here for you no matter what. I will always be a dear friend to you.

 LOVE YOU BRO! :)

The Message

Time flies too fast nowadays. Too fast that we barely feel that a day has 24 hours. Too fast that we barely get a grip of what's happening. Too fast that it makes us forget the memories. Too fast that our brain would have to forget older memories in order to store newer experiences.

I wish i could make you remember the things which time has effortlessly concealed with its flying arms.

I wish i could make you remember how your mother used to love you more back then so that you may forget the things which make you feel miles away from her today.

I wish i could make you remember how blissful your life was as a kid and how you were so loved by the people around you so you may not think that being an adult is a life next to hell.

I wish i could make you remember how you made friends and found the ones who would surely stick to you no matter what so you may be able to gain new friends in this new environment. It's hard but you'll get used to it. It takes a lot of getting used to.

I wish i could make you remember how you loved being at school way back then so that you may have the eagerness to explore and do better in college.

I wish i could make you remember why people around you love and care for you --because you're not just any other ordinary guy. You are a true and unique person. A person who has great passion in life, a person who --if necessary-- is flexible enough to face just about anything. So you will not look at yourself in the mirror with disappointment in your eyes.

I wish i could make you remember how your experiences molded you to be the person you are today. How you battled through life's never ending struggle. How you've been so strong for yourself and for the people you care for. So you wouldn't have to tell yourself everyday that you're a failure.

I wish i could make you remember how you had fun with your friends no matter how silly the stuffs you did. So you would realize that life is not just about heartaches and miseries. It's also about enjoyment!

I wish i could make you remember how that one person you loved so much made you realize that girls are not the world. You may have parted ways but she taught you things out of the four corners of a classroom. So that you may be able to appreciate the changes that are happening in your life now.

I wish i could make you remember that you are well-loved by the ONE above greater than anybody in this world. So that you may always remember Her in your most troubled days and you may not forget Her in your happiest days.

And most of all...

I wish i could make you remember just how beautiful life is. So that when it comes to living your life, you'll do the right things and if ever you did something wrong, you would realize there's always an avenue to change and everything happens for a reason.

Those things, may you always remember. May remind you how beautifully God planned your life to be. Struggles and pains, heartaches and obstacles are always there. Life never runs out of that but that's how life is supposed to be -- it's what you make it.

Please, don't let time spoil your life. The earth may be rotating and revolving faster than before but you have to live life step by step --slowly but surely. Never forget those memories that make up the person you are right now. Remember those and you'll be good.

Rinks - My best friend's wife...

This is my second post in one day. The post below this is my normal post. I am writing this new post because I just noticed the comment in the post before the one before this one. It was My writing tutor giving me the assignment to describe someone I know. I decided to describe my Friends wife Rinks. Here it goes........

Rinks alwayz been so moody......

I wish we hadn’t drift so far away since we new each other. I always looked up to you because you are naturally beautiful, intelligent, caring, and kind. Thanx to Saad cuz of him, she came across my world and I am writing for her, she is the one who knows me longer than others.i wish she  will get far bestest things in life whatever she wished for and have smart, beautiful children just like her. I hope she don’t forget me because from the moment we met till now, she had been always that big part of my memory. What I love about our relationship is that we never feel awkward of seeing each other as if we’ve been seeing each other everyday regularly. No matter what she confess to me about her insecurities, she always going to be that lovely figure I look up to. I don’t know if she knows how much she means to me and how important she was to me, and continues to be now.

Promise me Rinks (if you are reading) to be happy and to keep in touch with me throughout my life. I look up to her as a sister, someone who has endured heartache and come out stronger, and as a true friend. I know in any crisis, she would be first in line to be there for me. One more thing, She’s got the most compassionate heart, a gorgeous smile and the sense of humor to laugh harder at her own jokes than anyone else in the room.She had good and sensible attitude and dressing sense,which lacks in every women.I love talking with her about life because she gives me the kind of feeling that everything will be alright if I just believe, take the card of chances of life that plays me, and if I have fallen I become stronger as I stand where I fell. I love you so much and I miss you with tears to my eyes.




Some deadly memorable affairs with her:


Train Journey: it was our first journey and simultaneously, the life journey of friendship begins with her,at that time we were day old friend, we just lost into each other in very short time.We played truth n Dare,actuly we had fun.she patiently served dinner to me and it was so nice of her treating me so well.I didn’t wanted to sleep entire night coz I was not willing to put off the conversation I was enjoying.


"First time I felt that journey is too short when you are with a people like her".

.Shopping : She wanted to go for shopping a day before Kamrans receptions,Thanx again to Saad cuz he was too lazy,fortunately I grabbed the opportunity to go and I wanted to spend some more times to be more close with her. I comforted her and All together she bought 3 pairs of sandals and one purse and after two hour of shopping and bargaining on each, she become much more optimistic which makes me feel much content.She thinks highly of it and so do I..

"Going shopping with a girl can be a trial for any guy - and it appears it is no different even if you admire her. ”

Movie,Masti and Popcorn: how can I forget the day I have been for a movie “Love Aajkal “ with her.Really Rinks movie maynot be so enjoyable if you were not with us.I cherished every single moment with you and all girls around us.

Last n hope not least;


Evening Tea n Hookah : She is very good in making tea and repulsive if you ask for more.


She’s been on my mind alot recently. We go through flurries of communication, and then quiet times. Right now, it’s a quiet time. I’m rattled with trying to get work done, and she’s well, also trying to get work done, so to speak.So, I battle to do anything more than send a two-liner “love you” or random Facebook comment. She and I have bad day synergy sometimes..

The truth is,Rinks and I have always been close. We’ve warred like you won’t believe. She get annoyed with me and we are absolutely, hilariously, very similarly. Fighting with her is like fighting with myself. Only, it’s worse because I can’t tell myself to shut up and leave me alone. Heh. We’re so the same we like the same tea. The bad thing about her is she always try to steal my ciggy that putts me off .
But, as I’m older, we are. I treasure that. I never get to tell her that, i really miss her. And because we live countries apart, it’s sometimes hard to make that translate into actual, meaningful communication.. Maybe it was the technology just behaving because we both knew we needed each other right then.
Before, when she’s with us, she’s part of the crazy people I call friends. She fits in with them, and has even been adopted by my Bestest friend Kamran, who counts her as a sister too. I like that.
I carry your heart in my heart.

Thanx again to Saad for not suing this devil for writing so long about his beloved wife and being with me to make my life beautiful.
Accidently Saad happens to be a lovable husband to her,i wish they keep on moving on the wheels of their life loving and fighting each other.


“I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do...I'm sorry I can't help myself, I'm in love with you.”

Music mania....

Almost everyone on earth listens to music once in their life time. Usually at least one of the songs get stuck in their head. What makes music sound so good?

Music is actually just a bunch of sounds put together in a way that sounds rhythmically correct and / or sounds pleasing to the ear. But a person talking in rhythm to his footsteps doesn't get stuck in one's head, so what makes music so special?


I think that music is so special because of it has a continuously changing tone, there are notes that coordinate with each other, there are usually lyrics that can relate to people and their personal life all over the world, and there is a continuous background rhythm. Continuously changing tone really makes music sound good. When someone talks, it is very monotone and it doesn't really have a sound to it. Music, on the other hand, has a tone that continuously changes, which makes it sound more pleasing to the ear than blah blah blah. Also, in music, notes usually coordinate with each other well. When writing music, people think for a while about what note to use next instead of simply throwing out a random note at a completely random time. This way, the music sounds cleaner with less imperfections than a person talking. Another reason music probably sounds good to a human ear is because of the lyrics. The lyrics go in rhythm to the song, which allows more flow, and the lyrics usually talk about overcoming something that average people all over the world have to overcome. People like to be understood, and if something as important as a song that everyone listens to tells about the people's daily life, then the people feel understood. A background rhythm is what music listeners snap their fingers to. It makes people want to jump along and it makes the ground vibrate. It is one more thing to remember the music by.




Music is a wonderful part of our culture today. It is so special because of its continuously changing tone, its notes that coordinate with each other, its lyrics, and its background rhythm

New machine.....Yuppie

For those of you who have been followin along, you know that back when I was working on first chapter (on the very first version of it), I had my Desktop of 11 years....its not with me anymore.

It was a sad day when i left that in home town. Let’s be serious, it was an old Pentium 3, an underpowered, old machine. It was good enough for Word and movie though, and that was, at the time, all I needed.
But then,I was missing like hell to it and have got nothing to get attached with you,my life was blank. last Friday, my bro spoke the magic words, “Go get yourself a new laptop.”


Since I’m short on money, I spent a lot of time doing research to find a laptop suiting my needs, with a reasonable price. After getting advice from all my friend I decided to buy.Sony claims it can last 16 hours lets see how long. Considering I’m only using the laptop to surf the web,Cadd, occasionally listen to music and use of Microsoft Word, the slower response time doesn’t bother me and I can easily spend 2 days without recharging the battery.


So now, I have a brand new (not really, it’s a refurb) Sony Vaio notebook white in color.


Ah, the miracles of modern technology.


Intel Core i3 @ 2.27 GHz (3.00 GHz Turbo Mode)
4 GB DDR3 memory
14” wide
NVIDIA - 512 MB dedicated graphics memory


So, new laptop, new chapter, and vice versa. It will be fun on this weekend. Now if I could just get work down to less than 60 hours a week…

Think eXist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ThinkExist.com Quotes

Self - doubting

I think if i had to pinpoint one flaw that most keeps me from doing and being all i can, it would have to be my super-human ability to doubt myself.



There aren't many areas of life where doubt and second guessing doesn't factor in my life {is what i'm doing or writing really relevant, intelligent, informed, or am i simply spewing the ridiculous randomness in my head?}. the job {Job i am doing isn't as good as the last one. what if i never have a creative thought ever again? what if they find out i don't have a clue what i'm doing?}. even conversations that i have {did i really say that? he's going to think i am an idiot. why did i have to open my mouth at all?}.


All these things and more are subject to the harsh and glaring critic living inside my head,whose only job, it seems, is to constantly tell me that what i'm doing isn't good enough, creative enough, intelligent enough... or simply enough.

it's far too easy to let the questioning, negative voices actually run the show that is my life. and besides, i don't even like living like this! if i was wearing a underwear that was so painful as to ruin my day, i wouldn't hesitate to change them. so why have i allowed doubt to inconvenience, and at times, even sabotage me?
i want to be done with the incessant self-doubting. i want to stop second guessing myself, and begin trusting in the gifts that God has given me. and if i make a mistake, then i pick up and go on from there.
there are enough things in life that serve to derail you from your purpose... there's no sense in adding to it.....

Saad......part 1

For someone who belongs to me......








Saad was a very unique guy and someone I’m glad I was able to call my childhood friend. I met him in montessori, where many of our first genuine friendships begin. His family only lived a few subdivisions over from mine and most days we would be at one of our two houses after school messing around outside trying to stay out of trouble. While we were both fairly decently growing up, Saad was a few inches taller than me and at 6’, he could play some song on his lips "Chahat teri mujhe chahiye" sung by Haider Ali….


He used to be a very rebellious kind of champs in our group as if he is THE DON or else he think every don is in his pocket.Whenever things happen around us at that Saad was the only guy as our Messiah.I dont know why people used get scared out of him..


WE USE TO GET INTO FIGHTS


Let me clarify. My crew would cruise around town like high school punks with nothing to do and nowhere to go. It was at a Angoora restaurant one evening that Saad pulled us out of potential danger. There were a group of guys from a rival school already hanging out at this establishment but with Saad on our side we all felt pretty fearless. Pointless bravado filled the air and within minutes bodies were being tossed from one side of the restaurant to the other. Hanging out with my undersized Idiot friends didn’t evoke much encouragement. I was a late bloomer as well so my buck wasn’t gonna be throwin’ too many people around. Luckily we had Saad on our side so we walked away pretty much unscathed.


WE USE TO TALK ABOUT GIRLS


Oh how we talked about girls. What adolescent heterosexual guy didn’t? Although we had slightly different taste in females, it didn’t stop us from discussing who we’d like to hook up with (shag for you) and where we’d like to do it. He always chose the taller ones; I tended to lean towards the gymnast type. Since Saad matured a little quicker than most guys our age, his success with the ladies began a little sooner than mine. That pissed me off growing up, but in the end I did alright for myself. Saad was in a serious relationship, one that was surely going to lead him down the alter, if only he’d gotten the chance.


Growing up, neither of us were very good students. It wasn’t that we weren’t smart, we just didn’t apply ourselves. Actually that’s not true. We just didn’t apply ourselves properly. We spent plenty of time being active, playing sports, and eventually smoking became a full time hobby. Saad and I went to the same junior high, high school and then we parted. I guess in today’s day and age we’d be considered grade point ‘challenged’.


Now.


He is married to the same girl.......................to be continued.

Random thoughts....

Today, I was reminded that I sulk in posting blog. I am provided with enough time every day to post our blogs but I don't know why I have difficulties writing one.




At four o'clock or sometimes three, I'm allowed to take my friends laptop to do my blog tasks. It also means that a whole day of work is nearing to be done. That is why when the minute hand struck twelve while the hour hand pointed at four, I celebrate.



But when I'm already in front of the monitor, I am just sitting there staring blankly on the space where the blog is supposed to be encoded. I know I do have many things to say but somehow I don't know how to say those things.



The same thing happens when I'm around people. I can just sit or be with them and not making the effort to talk. Many people do always comment on my silence. Sometimes, I'm tagged as unfriendly or a snob because of this. I never knew why I didn't develop my talking skills. I know there are a lot of things inside me to be said, but I always opted never to vocalize them. :)

Mental Status at 101F

It’s only 3.43am and I am awake and I am desperately waiting for my dwelling mates, Actually, I have been awake since 3am, with this fever bugging me. I am 101F now; I guess the thermometer will not deny to say so. Not quite sure if it's high enough to be consider as a fever. But for sure I feel the pain. My head is so painful now; tummy is being rebellious and feel like my bones are cracked. I tried to go back to sleep after taking the medicine but cannot fall asleep. Lying on bed somehow hurts my head even more. Sitting and doing nothing also hurt my head. So I decided just to write. Hopefully while I am writing now, the medicine will start reacting and brings my body temperature down. I do not have time to be ill now. As i am here to make some riyals and it’s my first priorities...

Feel like calling home now. But I know I shouldn't. Don't wanna make them worry. Yesterday I already felt the symptom. My body was kinda warm, though I didn't check how warm I was (wonder if "warm" is really the term. oh wtvs!), and I felt like vomiting. My friends are away and i am here with empty heart in a empty flat., then I start thinking about how if human reproductive system was like flower's. They 'have sex' by animal or wind seed dispersal. Oh, that wont be nice I guess. Every time it is windy outside, I'll just be sitting at home, wrapping myself with impermeable cloths to make sure no sperm will got dispersed by the wind to the surrounding females. Or, I'll be carrying a bug killer (not so sure what it is..lol) to kill bugs that are flying around me! Coz otherwise they'd get pregnant!! LOL. And I thank God I am not a flower, neither human's reproductive system is like flower's.

Another question in my mind which is if there are two closed toilets – one for gents and the other for ladies. But on the doors, nothing is written except two equations – one for gents and the other for ladies. But on the doors, nothing is written except two equations – door no 1 has the linear equation f(x) = mx + c; door no 2 has the quadratic equation f(x) = ax² + bx + c. Which toilet will i enter?* After a lots of involvement with all my physics and mathematics logical senses: I guess the answer will be *when a man urinates, it follows the quadratic equation. On the contrary, for women, it follows a linear equation. So I must select toilet no 2.i wonder what will happen if this system implemented on every public toilets.....

Ying n Yang

Yesterday  I read an article in a very stale newspaper(as u know i am always very late and i have to love old and stale ones)about how ‘males will extinct from the face of the earth in some 500 million years ago’. Later, another article came saying that some scientists successfully developed artificial sperms. God, would we really be extinct was the question that was puzzling me.

A lady stated that she thinks that men only give a woman pleasure in bed and that is all they mean to her. It was just that lady who said it to press. Nobody knows what the real number of ‘these’ ladies is. Moreover, countries are done with ‘gay rights’drama. I want to explain taking an example. India allowed homosexuality. Men on men, women on women. Women can get the sperms(artificial) they need. Men can also have a test tube baby but the number is very less. One day would come when men really would become extinct. Then what? Ladies governing the world? I don’t say that they don’t have the guts to do that. But the fact that they are very serious about gossiping stuffs and ego problems threatens me to think what that world would be like.

The parliament would see all the women coming in the best dresses with full make ups. But who would be there to see them? Might be they would all start their talks with what are the latest cosmetics available, who is going to someone’s party or something else. What about the world ladies? Men can at least compromise and they put their egos behind while taking their decisions. If the ladies would let their ego come in the way of making their decisions then… God save them!

There are so many things that a woman can give a man and vice versa. I don’t think the unbalanced world would survive everything that comes their way as well as we do it right now!

The problems with losing friends!!!!!!!!!!!

The problem with losing friends is that sometimes you miss them. A lot.

I've always, always said that if I lost a friend then it was probably the way it was meant to be. Maybe I don't exactly like the reason but I need to step back and let things happen the way that they're supposed to. Maybe one day they'll come back. If they're meant to.

It doesn't make the absence they've left any easier to deal with, though. There are some people that aren't in my life anymore that I know are not there for a VERY GOOD REASON. Those people I don't miss so much as I sometimes wonder - what are they are to? Have they changed? Are they less like they used to be? There are some people, though, that I miss every single day. The holes in my heart that they left will never, ever close up. And that's pretty awful.

I'm not sure what to say. Should I explain that as I write this I have tears in my eyes. Should I say that I have a hard time looking at pictures with them in them because it hurts me to remember those good times? Should I call and tell them that I thought of them today, that something happened and all I could think was, "Gosh I wish I could call..."

I don't like being called a liar. I don't like being told I'm a bad friend. I don't like apologizing only to have that apology taken and thrown right back at me. I'm a human being. Yeah, I've made mistakes in my life. And some of those mistakes, I'm sad to say, I regret. But it's sad when you've had someone around for SO LONG and maybe you take them for granted. And then one day they aren't there. And things aren't the same as they used to be.

I don't know where I'm going with this. For the most part I'm happy. And then I think about the day I said, "One day, we'll be old and in wheelchairs and we'll be acting just as lame and goofy as we always did." And it really just makes me want to cry.

Ugh.

Frustration......Aarrrgghh

I'm having kind of a frustrating week.

I won't go into all of it. Generally I have no issue with putting all my thoughts into the WWW, however there are some people involved that I know would have an issue with that. I will just say that couple of night night I ended up crying coz  of my Gossip Girl and True Life and feeling like a huge jerk. I really don't feel like I'm in the wrong but I'm someone who feels guilty about pretty much everything so right now my heart just hurts with the amount of sadness and guilt I'm feeling. I hate it.

Then today morning consultancy adviser emailed me that still had to wait for a couple of days. As I was looking through it I realized my pocket would not cover my flat rents. Which pretty much means I can't go to hell. With me still being unemployed,I am just making ends meet. So of course I started to freak out a little bit. Especially because i am not running PERFECT. I'd be giving up architecture, which would be good for me.
I really feel like I need another life to prove myself. I think it's just coming back and having one stressful thing after another happening.

Anyway, hopefully my would be life will be better.........

Dramatic Life

real life is rarely as dramatic as it is in my head.

and if i'm honest, then i would even have to admit that much of the drama in my life is conceived too often within the confines of my own brain. not to mention that many of the problems i face arise from my own doing.

   :    : poor decisions.
   :    : words spoken in anger.
   :    : laziness & its friend procrastination.
   :    : thinking that i can do it all on my own.

sometimes being honest with yourself is one of the more painful things that a person can do.

   :    : at least this person.

this person who has a seeming inability to not extend grace to himself when he fails.

i forget things.

forget that there was a great price paid for my freedom, my life.

today i will not forget.

i will live in the space of these words :"I am a man of slightly higher dimension."

Discipline........

there are times in my life when i have so much discipline that i amaze myself... unfortunately these periods of amazement are usually swiftly followed by times when i am as undisciplined as a bowl of jello.

so much for consistency.

i own more than a few books on the topic of spiritual disciplines. were you to look at my bookshelf, and see the highlighted portions of these many books, you would probably assume that i was one of the most spiritually disciplined people you could ever hope to meet.

unfortunately, the opposite is true. i am drawn to books on the disciplines because i am so hopelessly undisciplined most of the time.

i am in a rut of indiscipline right now.

things were going good until about a week ago, when, for a stupid, emotional reason, i allowed myself to be derailed, and am now fighting to pick it all up again. being the king of self-induced and irrational guilt, i constantly beat myself up about it... which, strangely enough, isn't very inspiring. you'd think i'd have figured that out by now.

the bottom line is that i want to be better. i want to love God better today than i did yesterday. i want to be a better designer and writer. a better friend, brother, son. and the only way that that happens, is if RAHMAT is a more disciplined chap.

not that there is magic in the disciplines. there isn't. but they help to put me in a place where i can actually hear God speak in the midst of all the noise i cram into my life. and because of that, they are fully necessary.

Complicacies in LOVE

“I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”

”valentine's day is coming up.

the holiday of lOoOoOoOve. i have always had mixed reviews on this holiday. i've had good years and bad years. last year's was a disaster.

but this is not what i want to talk about.

it just reminds me of gratefulness for what we have in general.

we shouldn't just need a holiday to acknowledge how we feel about someone else...

but people, in general, are ungrateful as a whole.

why, as people, are we so damn ungrateful? we always look for warning signs in other people as reasons not to be with them or be friends with them. why is this? to judge and say, oh no...i've got to get away from this one. which is understandable to a point. we don't want to surround ourselves with a bunch of weirdos with extreme issues.

what is wrong with flaws though? shouldn't we embrace the little things that make us not so perfect? instead of looking for warning signs, shouldn't we just enjoy each other? no one is fucking perfect. it's as though after we get burned, we don't allow ourselves to fully love another without keeping a guard up...and looking for reasons why this person is not good enough to keep around.

wake up. appreciate who you have. so what if your girlfriend takes 2 hours to get ready for everything? that your boyfriend plays his video games a little longer than you'd like? stop being so selfish and enjoy some quality time with your significant other before it's too late. he or she is not going to wait around for you to appreciate him or her forever. read the signals that they're not feeling wanted or appreciated anymore.

don't just show him you love him on valentine's day. make it more often. make it on a random day he doesn't expect. hey you, bring her some flowers on a day she wouldn't expect. write her a card for no reason. love and appreciate each other. do something nice even when you feel like things are on the rocks. how did you get there in the first place? probably from not taking care of things when you should have been. probably because he feels like you don't care anymore or she feels like you don't love her like you used to. probably because you are letting little things that shouldn't matter, old fights and burrowed resentment, cover up what made you fall in love in the first place.

stop being lazy. be appreciative. do the things you used to do when things are new. reignite your spark. a valentine's card once a year and a birthday present isn't all it takes to be a good boyfriend / girlfriends too. stop nagging.

remember the beginning and why it was so special...before any bullshit seeped in the cracks. there was obviously something that meant a lot to you to make you want to be with that person. don't forget what made them special. this will happen in relationships/marriages. don't let every day stress and worry take over completely. count your fucking blessings, my friends. be thankful for what you have and let bygones be bygones. happy valentine's day and love with every bit of your soul. :) go grab your man or woman and tell 'em they are special. like now. go.

yuppie!!!! um proud to be an Uncle

Not by blood, but by many years of a wonderful friendship with my best friend in this wide world. My Best Friend Sibtey bhaiz is blessed with beautiful Angel girl and I am very much excited to hug her.As she is first nex-gen of our friendship credentials, crazy right? I know that the father are going to be wonderful parents and will help them both grow into stronger, mature, people.Sibtey bhai's has never put himself first, He is always helping and caring for others, I'm so glad that it is finally time that he will care for himself and the little bun in the craddle. I cant wait to walk this road with his baby angel. Bhai I am here, by your side, every step of the way, I hope you know that. I love you.



.......to a precious BABY GIRL!!!! Today was the big day, of finding out best friends baby. I am just thrilled to death in happinees that he is having exactly what he wanted, a beautiful, precious baby girl. and I am honored to be an uncle of this angel as this tender age , to share that experience with you is wonderful. I almost let out tears once, but go me, I held them back. I couldnt wait to find out how they pampering baby and now I am very inquisitive to know the name to be christened.


Knowing there is a girl props also helps tons in the planning of the baby shower,i expect from these parents to nurture there roots with loads of love and warmth, they must have a whole, seperate, folder in "My Favorites" with pictures, websites, and lots of fun ideas, now its time to start the other topic, cause we all know she will be a beautiful one for the new spoiled princess headed our way.


When a baby enters this world,

into your life
A baby can make you forget your
worries and strife.
It really doesn't matter whether
it's a girl or a boy
A baby will melt your heart and bring you joy!
So shower a baby with love,
every single day.
Show a baby you
For with a blink of an eye, time truly care-
there's so many ways. 
will fly out the door-
and your precious baby, won't
be a baby anymore!!

I love you beautiful baby GIRL...........Thanx a ton to you and CONGRUTULATIONs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BRA-OGRAPHY!!!!!

Odd things happen to me in my life- and surprising lessons too,sometimes........

Not long ago , i have been to clothing material shop with my Fashion designer friend.I had lobbied hard to get a seat so i'd have little more things to check out as the entire space were filled with women.

In a fraction of second,one man came up with cup sorta thing made up of fabric,it was just giving a feeling of swine-flu mask to me...

Lucidly,i picked up and tried fighting to fix on my mouth.I was obviously conducting a stress test on that cup,assessing how to fix as a mask coz there was no band or strap to tie.People in the shop especially women fixed with a furious stare as if i am challenging her all and my designer buddy gasped,pointed at me and blurted "it is for ball not for you". I was stunned by his comment and suddenly i figured out photographs of gorgeous lady sporting BRA on the wraps of that cup.

Silently,agreed what my friend was trying to convince without any notions or gesture,i banged that stuff on the counter,Embarrassment was high on peak,i didnt tried to gaze at women's weary eyes around me and quietly i left the shop.




"Most things in life are moments of pleasure and a lifetime of embarrassment; BRA-ography is a moment of embarrassment and a lifetime of pleasure.”

Reality of Romance

It's Friday afternoon and I've been overcome with a mix of feelings: guilt, loneliness, and romance. (Most importantly, romance.)
Plz come forward i am missing you today. Maybe it's because I've recently seen Nothing Hill, or it's that I've been listening to Leona Naess, who I might add can make you feel emotional in an instant, (If you haven't heard of her, be sure to start with Lazy Days, Shiny on the Inside, and Sunny Sunday.) or maybe it's the gloomy weather that's bringing up these emotions to the surface, (or maybe the combination of the three) but somehow, I just needed to get away from it all.

After watching way too much trashy., (as Leona puts it) I chose to hide away in my bedroom, windows shut and covered in blankets. Some might say this is a pathetic way to live, shutting yourself off from the world by going into hiding in your room, but to me, it's not only comfortable, I feel it's very well-deserved. I'm less than a third on reading/looking about others and something that had an effect on me: "Reality rarely lives up to the romance." Sad, but true. Life is hard, sometimes excruciating. I think it's only natural that sometimes we willingly choose to cut ourselves off from the sad, exhausting reality that is life. In fact, I don't even know why I'm trying to justify this, because it's perfectly normal. Since I can't pause life, all I basically did was change the channel. Everyone does this. Everyone gets sick of life, at some point in their lives. Why else do we blog?

Lived right smack in the middle of a roller coaster. I mean, imagine that for a second. Living with fantasy all the time, suspended from reality (sometimes literally) 24/7? I mean, in retrospect, that's probably partially the reason why people ended up being such a neurotic and pessimistic character, but having that immense playground to yourself whenever you want, being detached from reality and not having a care in the worldI know I've blogged before about how I'm so glad about finally being an adult and grown-up and mature. It's just that I guess when things don't go a certain way, when people disappoint you, when you're just sick of it all, you just want to cover yourself up and somehow, underneath those covers, you hope, that once you put the covers down, it'll all be better. It's like that peek-a-boo game that you play when you were a kid, you don't know it's gonna be the same face behind those hands, but somehow, you hope, once those hands are down, it'll all get better.


I guess this is just another bump in the road, and we all have our own ways of dealing with them. Some people choose to face it head on, some decide to shy away from it, I, on the other hand, chose to live on my own terms, and pretend it never happened....